looking for a clean shirt
Didn't you suspect burglars had been in the house when you saw all the drawers pulled out and the contents scattered all over the floor? asked the policeman.
No, I just thought my husband had been looking for a clean shirt, replied the woman.Rating
Answer-Genie
A man was walking through a thrift store when he found a genie lamp. After rubbing it, a genie popped out.
"Hello there," he said,"I am not a wish-granting genie, I am an answer genie. You may ask me three questions."
The man asked these questions:
1. What? Genie:"Hello there," he said,"I am not a wish-granting genie, I am an answer genie. You may ask me three questions."
2. Do I get another question? Genie: "No"
3. Dude, what the heck? Genie: "That counts."Rating
A 50th Wedding Anniversary
At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At a session, last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best is that I took-a her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!"
The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary."
Luigi proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go to get her."RatingUpcoming wedding ceremony
"Whom would you like to invite for your upcoming wedding ceremony?" Father asked his son
"All except you and mom" the Son replied
"But why" Father angrily shouted
"Had you bothered to invite me for your ceremony!" the Son pleaded.Rating
Going to the Dentist
One day a man walks into a dentist's and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth?
"$160," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock it down to $120."
"That's still too expensive," the man says.
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anaesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I could get away with charging $40."
"Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."
"Hmm," says the dentist, scratching his head. "If I let one of my students do it for the experience, I suppose I could charge you just $20." "Marvellous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday !"RatingSurvive or died
First Kid: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.
Second Kid: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.
First Kid: I don't remember exactly, I was only 3 yeas old at that time.RatingMathematician husband
A mathematician reached home at 3 AM.
His wife was very upset.
Wife: You're late! You said you'd be home by 11:45!
Mathematician: I'm right on time. I said I'd be home by a quarter of twelve.
(12/4 = 3)RatingWife: Do you love me just because my father left a lot of money for me?
Husband: Not-at-all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.Rating20 years Ago
Wife: Sweet Heart ! When you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.
Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same charming girl whom I married 20 years back.Ratingcomputer password
A Kid calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?
Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.
Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.Ratingyoga effect
Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband's drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, An Amazing Funny Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.Ratingstanding in front of mirror
Wife: (standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?
Funny Husband: Your eyesight is still excellent !RatingSecond Marriage
Wife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?
Husband: No dear.
Wife: I'm sure you would.
Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.
Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?
Husband: Ya, I guess so.
Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.
Husband: No, she is taller than you.RatingHarassed Husband
Harassed Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.
Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.
Husband: I know all that.
Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?
Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.Rating
Post of detective
Laloo applied for the post of a detective in Patna. In the interview he was asked a question:
Who killed Mahatma Gandhi?
Laloo: I will tell you tomorrow.
Laloo come home and tells his wife: I got the job and my first work is to investigate who killed Gandhi.Rating
Angry Boss
Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?
Employee: (looking down) No Sir...
Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.RatingLawyer Fees
Client to Lawyer: What is your fees?
Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.
Client: Isn't it too high?
Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?RatingDivorce
Husband: I want divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that are hard to get!RatingResponsible
An employer said to a job applicant:
'In this job we need someone who is responsible.'
the job applicant replied:
'I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time something went wrong, they said I was responsible.'RatingHistory
TEACHER TO A CHILD (RAJ) : RAJ IF THE WORLD WAR THREE WILL COME THEN WHAT WILL HAPPEN.
RAJ TO TEACHER : SIR IN HISTORY SUBJECT ONE CHAPTER WILL INCREASE.Rating
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